Will the Rams Ride the Polarize Express?

We already have America's team, or so the Dallas Cowboys tell us. Are we ready for Red America's team?

The news is out that Rush Limbaugh is interested in buying the St. Louis Rams. The involvement of Dave Checketts, whose group owns the Blues and Real Salt Lake in the MLS, makes this more than a conservative sports fan's fever dream.

We got to thinking -- no, really, we did. What happens if Rush runs the Rams? Specifically, how will this affect the team's fan base, assuming it still has one after its recent history on the field?

Plenty of sports owners have been involved in politics. Our previous president was a baseball owner while he was governor of Texas, and a U.S. senator owns the Milwaukee Bucks. Far more operate behind the scenes, pushing money toward campaigns.

But no one as, shall we say, polarizing as Rush has climbed into the owners box of a pro club.

It's easy to imagine Rush's Rams would lose some liberal fans. But let's face it, disdain for the Rams is one of the few things that has garnered bipartisan support lately. They still carry the stench of L.A. about them and they haven't put much on the field to get excited about since Kurt Warner stopped being Jesus.

The question for us is, Would the RushRams draw the love of conservatives across the country and blossom into a national team? Regardless of where you sit on politics (and we sit as far away as possible from what passes for political discussion today, since we generally find decibel level inversely proportional to IQ), it must be said that hard-core conservatives support their own with cash. Would a Rams sweatshirt automatically be penciled onto the shopping list below the Bill O'Reilly book, the Ann Coulter Screech-a-Day calendar, and the teabags for the next rally?

And what if Rush were to push things further and jettison the Rams name, long associated with bastion of liberalism L.A., and replace it with something a little conservative-ier? Patriots and Eagles are taken (damn Donovan McNabb, damn him to hell!), but how about the St. Louis Pachyderms, or the St. Louis Don't-Tread-on-Me Rattlesnakes, or the St. Louis Tax Cuts? You get the picture. Merchandise could be moved.

Would St. Louis become a preferred home for the NFL's conservative talent, giving the RushRams the chance to sign players who want to bask in the light of Mr. EIB for little or no premium?

We don't know. We're not even sure what we had for dinner. It's hard to tell how things might unfold at the Edward Jones/Spatula City Dome.

One thing we know for sure, though: If Glenn Beck buys the Seahawks, it's on.