Three things we don't understand

Three things we don't understand.

1. 5 p.m. ET start time for the Twins-Tigers one-game playoff Tuesday. At least it shuts up the people who complain their kids can't stay up to see the end of the game. Their kids will be at home watching while they're stuck in rush hour traffic, unable to see it. Maybe this is a plan to drive traffic to the radio -- how quaint! Just like Giants-Dodgers and Bobby Thomson, except that now winning a playoff game doesn't get you a pennant, only a spot in the never-ending NHL, er, baseball postseason.

2. The Cowboys' last two plays against Denver on Sunday. Romo tried the slant to the right side and it didn't work. So the braintrust called a play that was similar but drew even more coverage to the middle, and Romo threw the same pass again. Strike two, you're out. We wish Cowboys coach-for-now Wade Phillips good luck in his future endeavors.

3. Nurse porn. We just don't get it. Nothing against nurses and certainly nothing against porn, and we get the whole she's-there-to-take-care-of-him thing, but you can do that with waitress porn or maid porn or female plumber porn, right? You see, we've spent a little time in the hospital (but rehab doesn't count, does it?) and there's not much sexy about it. The food? Unsexy. The smells? Very unsexy. The catheter? You're-going-to-stick-that-tube-where?-Sweet-Mother-of-God seriously unsexy. Waitress? Check, please.