The DamnFine10: Oct.9, 2009

Some weeks the genius overwhelms us. We’re nearly carried away in its tide, and it’s all we can do to type some of it out as it washes over us. Other weeks it takes us several days to write a sentence or two about a few college football teams. This, my friends, is one of those weeks.

1. Alabama
W: vs. Va Tech, Fla. Intl., N. Texas, Arkansas, @ Kentucky
By a thread. Finally, a trip to Mississippi and a chance to play a real team for the first time since the first week. Wait a minute. Is Ole Miss a real team?

2. LSU
W: @Washington, Vandy, La-Lafayette, @Miss. St., @Georgia
Moved back up after going to Dawgville and winning. If LSU had beaten the living beejesus out of Starkville Tech instead of needing a goal-line stand to win, we might be ready to move them up to No. 1.

3. Cincinnati
W: @Rutgers, SE Missouri St., @Oregon St., Fresno State, @Miami (OH)
Jeez, Cincy at undefeated South Florida is Thursday next week, the night after Boise at Tulsa. It’s the Midweek BCS Pretender Crucible of Fire. Maybe ESPN can sell a sponsorship for that.

4. Boise State
W: Oregon, Miami (OH), @Fresno St., @Bowling Green, UC Davis
God, UC Davis? Is that all you have for us? Next game, at Tulsa, moves to the top of the “Game With Most BCS Implications Ever Played on a Wednesday” list. It’s a short list, and Boise is on it a lot.

5. Iowa
W: Northern Iowa, @Iowa St., Arizona, @Penn St., Arkansas St.
If Michigan can come in and play like Northern Iowa or Arkansas State, it has a chance. That sounds weird, but it must be true.

6. Auburn
W: La. Tech, Miss. St., West Virginia, Ball St., @Tennessee
Auburn finally collected enough moonshine money to gas up the buses and play a road game. And what do you know, they beat Lane Kiffin! Shame, that. Speaking of Tulsa, the old Golden Hurricane offensive coordinator is doing his thing at Auburn so well that Auburn has forgotten what a lousy head coaching hire it made.

7. TCU
W: @Virginia, Texas St., @Clemson, Southern Methodist
Throttling SMU doesn’t get TCU any closer to its dream of winning the Atlantic Coast Conference. Now the Frogs go to Air Force. Maybe they want to get their hands on the Commander-In-Chief’s Trophy. Strangely, the game won’t be played midweek.

8. Virginia Tech
W: Marshall, Nebraska, Miami (FL), @Duke
L: vs. Alabama
Hokies managed to play their first true road game and take the week off at the same time. They still beat Duke.

9. Florida
W: Charleston Southern, Troy, Tennessee, @Kentucky
Definitely outplaying Oklahoma in the “We Should Have Given This Guy More Snaps With the First Unit in Practice” sweepstakes. Have fun in Gumbo Land, Gators.

10. Miami
W: @Fla. St., Ga. Tech, Oklahoma
L: @ Va. Tech
We give Miami credit for the schedule so far: all opponents ranked at kickoff, though it turned out Florida State sucked and nobody had come to terms with it yet (Bobby Bowden still hasn’t). The Hurricanes lose some credit for getting prison-raped at Virginia Tech. And they play Florida A&M this week, so forget about that schedule thing, too.

Teams that were considered but left out because they’ve played Louisiana-Monroe, Wyoming, Texas Tech and UTEP, three of them at home: Texas.