Ole Miss, Penn State, Cal: What do all these teams have in common? we ask. Well, you say, they're all top-10 teams that got knocked off Saturday. Yes, we say, but please also note that none of them were in CrackStaff's DamnFine10 because none of them had beaten anybody close to anybody yet this year. Cal's victory at Minnesota was probably the best win any of them had. Gophers. Ooooh.
But, you say, you did have Miami in the DamnFine10 and they got waxed too. But, we say, they had a victory over a Florida State team that had won at BYU, then turned around Saturday and lost at home to South Florida, making the whole mess a little tricky to evaluate. (We're now of the mind that Fla. St. is not an up-and-down team but instead a bad team that played really well in Provo. But check back with us.) Oh, and Miami played in a car wash Saturday. But when you're from Miami, that really shouldn't matter, should it?
Finally, you say, why are you using this silly rhetorical device? We're sorry, we say, hanging our heads. It mirrors the conversations we have inside our heads. And we started drinking a little earlier than usual today.
1. Alabama
Big plays carried the day for the Tide. Expected a little more sustained excellence out of the offense against a Hawg defense that Georgia toyed with. Bama D did the job though. Will Petrino follow his previous MO, quit in the middle of the season to take a D-2 job?
2. Houston
Avoided what looked like a perfect setup for failure: big game at home vs. name opponent (Texas Tech) after a huge win and a week off. And the Cougars were well on their way to following through. Then they went out at halftime and recruited a real defense, which shut down T-Tech in the second half and allowed them to squeak one out. Cougartown!
3. Florida
Kentucky blows, but that's the way a big dog is supposed to win on the road in the SEC. If we hear one more announcer asking for our prayers for JHT, we're going Satanist on you. A ton of kids get carted off fields every weekend while playing for our enjoyment, guys with worse injuries and far grimmer career prospects than Tebow, and nobody says a word about them.
4. Cincinnati
Holy Christ on a moped, do you realize that we're just a few upsets away from a Cincinnati-Boise State BCS Championship Game? As our dear mom says, Now, wouldn't that be something? Yeah, Mom, that'd be something all right; something more horrible than any right-thinking college football fan could imagine.
5. Boise State
The Boise scheduler seems to have gotten the idea that MAC beatdowns will help the Broncos with the pollsters. Good luck with that.
6. LSU
Yeah, it's a win on the road in the SEC, but the triple goal-line stand at Starkville was reminding us a little of the two field goals that Iowa had to block to beat Northern Iowa. A win, good, but not a good win. The win at Washington, which increased in value after the Huskies beat USC, just lost some luster after UWash went to Stanford and got pasted. Fun conference, that Pac-10.
7. Iowa
Speaking of Iowa ... maybe Kirk Ferentz is worth the money. He is when he's playing Penn State.
8. TCU
We were going to put Texas here, because they beat Texas Tech at home, but the rest of their sked has been La-Monroe, at Wyoming and UTEP. And now they're taking a week off. TCU has won at Virginia and at Clemson. We think the Horned Frogs are leading the ACC now.
9. Virginia Tech
We swore we weren't going to let a team with a loss in for a while, but the Hokies' loss was to our top team on a neutral field, and on Saturday they made Miami look as bad as ... well, as Miami two years ago.
10. Auburn
Man, it's funny for us to see Auburn hanging up 54 on teams, even when they do suck. Are we sure this is really Auburn?
Teams we considered for a fleeting moment before deciding we don't like their colors or their mascot or somesuch: Texas, Michigan, Missouri, Kansas
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment