REBRANDING ALERT! We were bored with the old name, so we gave this list a new name. We try to be consistent, but we just can't do it with any frequency.
We're only three weeks into the season, so nobody who has lost a game need yet apply. Don't feed us any of that "good loss" crap untill at least halfway through the season. Have some pride, fergawdsakes.
1. Alabama
Beat the living hell out of another lousy team. That stirring victory over the Gobblers in Week 1 looks a little better after Tech dropped a miracle on Nebraska in Blacksburg, but it's also receding further into our alcohol-fogged memory. Hey, Tide, better hang half a hundred on Arkansas' lousy defense this weekend if you want to sniff the top again.2. LSU
Like Bama, LSU gets some "win appreciation"; victory at Washington looks better because USC and it's crappy backup QB couldn't do it. Another chance to get it done on the road this week at Mississippi State, which, it seems, is still in the SEC.
3. Boise State
Nobody who ever plays on Friday night should be ranked this high on any list, but that wasn't just any team that Boise beat on the road last Friday. It was Fresno State, the former king of Friday, the best Friday team this side of a good Texas 5A squad. Well, the king is dead, and we don't mean Elvis. Long live the Broncos.
4. Miami (not of Ohio)
Are we back to the glory days of pregame brawls and nine unsportsmanlikes a game? No -- the Orange Bowl has been abandoned, and Jesus H. Tebow rules the land of Florida football with his swarthy but loving fist. Not the glory days, but 2-0 vs. top-20 teams makes us think a little less about recent outrages in Miami football history like, say, that 51-13 loss to Oklahoma a couple of years ago.
5. Cincinnati (of Ohio)
We swear, we saw one pundit with Cincinnati in his BCS National Championship Game vs. Florida. Mmm, boy, there's one we just can't wait to see. If that's where this whole road ends, can we just turn the car around now? Sweet Jesus, we'll become NBA fans if that's what it takes.
6. Houston
Celebrated colossal upset of Boone Pickens U. by taking the week off. Good on ya, and good luck in the game against Texas Tech, probably the first college football game with an over/under number that requires a comma.
7. Texas
Finally played somebody we've heard of, struggled through a grudge match at home.
8. Florida
Finally played somebody we've heard of, struggled through a grudge match at … hey …
9. UCLA
3-0 against schools from the Big 12, SEC and Mountain West. And that, friends, is what passes for excellence these days.
1o. Michigan
That RichRod fellow may have the best college football team in the state of Michigan. Congrats!
We're just not that into you anymore: The Mormon-Pacific Islander Coalition Known as BYU, Southern Cal, Georgia Tech, Minnesota
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