The Cowboys’ new stadium is big and shiny, and has a ginormous video board that hovers over the field like the Death Star. Oh yeah, it was also Week 2 in the NFL, so here’s the CrackStaff CrapTastic 5. And we’re so high, no punter will ever reach us.
5. Kansas City Chiefs
Chiefs outgained Raiders 409 to 166 and still lost, so you should either bet them next week or never, ever bet them again. We’ll let you decide. And, hey, Chiefs, stop allowing Al Davis to win -- it just eggs him on.
4. Detroit Lions
Halftime lead -- isn’t that worth a rouge point?
3. Cleveland Browns
Specialists at making not-so-good teams look good ply their trade in Denver. Kyle Orton says thanks! Hard to save the franchise when you’re on your back; Brady Quinn, please meet the turf (four times).
2. Jacksonville Jaguars
When the Arizona Cardinals come all the way to the East Coast to play a 1 p.m. ET game at your stadium, you’re supposed to win. Apparently, Jaguars fans were too entranced by Jacksonville’s many other early-Sunday-afternoon leisure opportunities to bother showing up for the game. Note to Jags ownership: Drafting Jesus H. Tebow will not lead you to the promised land.
1. St. Louis Rams
We left the Rams off last week’s list because we thought they had defected to the UFL. But, hey, what do you know, they still wear the Shield, still play on network TV and everything. Oh, and they’ve scored 7 points all year. Maybe the UFL is still an option?
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