We couldn't be happier that the Eagles won the race to the bottom and signed Michael Vick. The NFC East is easily our least favorite division in all of sports, and probably in all of life, and it just got a little easier to hate.
Now don't get us wrong. Michael Vick served his time, and he deserves to do what he does for a living, which is run around and make defensive lineman look silly, throw more bad passes than good ones and win some games, none of them very big.
We reject your argument that you wouldn't get hired back at your old job after a few years in the pen. That's right, you wouldn't, but you probably would have molested children or something. Honestly, we've always gotten that freak vibe off of you. Michael was very bad to dogs, which is bad but not as bad as being very bad to people. That's just the way it is.
But Vick should have gotten back into the league with some horrible (Raiders), desperate (Raiders), pathetic organization with out-of-touch, incompetent ownership (well, you get the picture). Maybe Al slept through the whole thing.
Vick is a guaranteed life-suck for any team, and he's not even a starter, ferchrissakes. Protests, QB controversy, the Eagles just bought the whole package. Did they really need him that bad? I guess the T.O. thing taught the Eagles that you can put up with just about anything for one year if it will get you to the big game.
For a team like the Eagles to take him ... I don't know, it doesn't feel right. But it does guarantee that the Eagles, Cowboys and Giants will combine to form an NFL media black hole, sucking all coverage away from the other clubs in the league and leaving them in total darkness. Maybe Daniel Snyder should learn to dance with an umbrella like Benson in New Orleans, anything to draw a stray camera the Redskins' way. Regardless, just another reason to hate the division.
And a note to the PETA babes: Get those protests out of the way early (as if the Philly crowd will let you survive the first one). Naked and December in Philadelphia do not go together.
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