Oh, we tried so hard to lay off of this one. But we are weak, Lord, so weak, and when you give us "Minnie Mouse" and "grope" in the same sordid headline, what are we to do?
So this 60-year-old dude has been convicted of testing Minnie's melons for freshness. But we've gotta ask: If you're going to feel up a Disney character (and we're not advocating that, kids -- it's not a nice thing to do, and, as the story proves, the police care about things like this) why in the name of Jessica Rabbit are you going to grab Minnie?
Or Daisy or any of the characters with the big, plastic, nonhuman heads, when you've got full-fledged babes walking around as Disney princesses? The Little Mermaid and the chick from Aladdin (neither of them overdressed), all the old-school ones like Snow White and Cinderella, even Alice in freakin' Wonderland. And this guy goes for the giant rodent.
The court convicted him of misdemeanor battery. We convict him of dumb-assery.
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