Day late, dollar short: Super Bowl porn edition

Sorry, it's been a while, but we think you'll understand. We've been rolled up in the fetal position since Monday morning, shuddering at the realization of what happened Sunday night (pretty NSFW, including a little bonus smut lite), wondering how it will transform the world for the better, slobbering uncontrollably at the possibilities. OK, we do a lot of slobbering most days, but you get the picture.

It was only for a few seconds, and only in a small area of the country, but when Comcast had its little "isolated malicious act," its "interruption" and put a "dude's stuff" on the air for tens of thousands of Super Bowl viewers in Tempe, it marked the shotgun marriage of the single biggest one-day event on the face of the planet and mankind's great guilty pleasure. The NFL and porn. Football and the nasty. How can anyone say the world will ever be the same?

It's not the first football/porn hookup -- most of those who plied their trade in "Debbie Does Dallas" are probably dead of natural causes by now (if any porn actors/actresses ever die of natural causes). But now that we've advanced from there to Janet Jackson's nipple to full-blown hard-core on the biggest stage TV has to offer, there's no going back.

We still haven't wrapped our head around this -- yeah, we said that -- but we're all in on the conspiracy theory. This was some sort of Comcast test. Sure, when we went from the Cardinals going in to the zipper going down, the phones at the local NBC affiliate nearly blasted off the desks. But outrage generally gives way to acceptance. Next year they slip in little after the national anthem, or maybe even replace the halftime (sorry, Bruce, but if you've seen the clip, you know who's The Boss). Pretty soon it's a pay-per-view enhancement. Bowl for show, smut for dough.

We don't know quite how the integration works or how the NFL gets bought off (that would be a fun negotiation!), but an idea this good has to be monetized. We don't like that word, but we hear people that make lots more money than we do use it, so we're using it too.

So apologize all you want, Comcast, but we know what's really going on. And we're going to keep lying here, rocking ourselves gently and giggling to ourselves, until you fess up.