We're not saying there is one ... but if there were ...
5. "Matt Lauer is lying in the driveway, and he says he's not leaving until we agree to appear on the show together."
4. "Your mysteriously leaked picture is WAY more embarrassing than my mysteriously leaked picture."
3. "I'll wear the medals if you wear the tiara."
2. "I think the institution of marriage will survive one little threesome, now, won't it?"
1. "Don't think of it as an orgy. Think of it as a multi-team sex medley."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Oh, Miss Cali
Nude indeed (or thereabouts -- we haven't seen the pics yet), and yes, we called that one before it broke. Our psychic powers are a heavy burden, but we try to carry them with dignity.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Crossing the line
Miss California USA has us in a gay frame of mind tonight. We're man enough to admit that.
Given the speed with which gay marriage seems to be gaining acceptance (argue if you want, but the polls from four or five years ago and now don't look like they were taken in the same country), we're thinking of another barrier that might be broken soon: an openly gay active player in the NFL, the NBA, the NHL or MLB.
Granted, jock culture doesn't necessarily mirror the broader spectrum in a lot of ways, and testosterone by the gallon changes everything, but we still think it's going to happen. The question is, which sport? Numbers might make the NBA the likeliest spot -- fewer guys on the roster, not as many people would have to buy in and say it's not any big deal -- but our money's on baseball. Any thoughts?
Given the speed with which gay marriage seems to be gaining acceptance (argue if you want, but the polls from four or five years ago and now don't look like they were taken in the same country), we're thinking of another barrier that might be broken soon: an openly gay active player in the NFL, the NBA, the NHL or MLB.
Granted, jock culture doesn't necessarily mirror the broader spectrum in a lot of ways, and testosterone by the gallon changes everything, but we still think it's going to happen. The question is, which sport? Numbers might make the NBA the likeliest spot -- fewer guys on the roster, not as many people would have to buy in and say it's not any big deal -- but our money's on baseball. Any thoughts?
Day late, dollar short: Miss California USA nude
Now that we would be interested in. But, alas, it's not true, at least not on this site. It's just a shameless attempt to get a few search hits.
The rest of the Miss California USA stuff, we don't care about, no matter how many times Carrie Prejean shows up on the "Today" show. Maybe she'll set a record for appearances by pretty blondes who aren't missing or dead. We still won't care.
We will give her some credit, though. If we were packed into our gown on stage at a beauty pageant we really, really, pleaseGodohplease wanted to win, and Perez Hilton asked a question that was anywhere near about gay people, we're pretty sure we'd talk about how great gay people were and how they deserved to get married and how our mom and dad were both gay, if you can believe that, it's really a funny story, Perez -- regardless of how big a Bible we liked to thump and how terrible we thought it made gay people out to be in God's eyes and all. We're like that. So, yeah, Miss California USA has a bigger pair than we do. We'll admit it.
But we guess there is one thing we care about now. As Carrie becomes the banner carrier for the don't-let-them-gays-marry crowd, we await the reaction. Because we've often heard that singers, actors and athletes who espouse causes should shut up and act/sing/play because they aren't qualified to talke about it and nobody cares what they thing. In just about all these cases, the causes are liberal and the "shut up" crowd is conservative.
Now we have a beauty queen -- not even an accomplished actor or musician, but a pretty girl who didn't win the big pageant -- weighing in on an issue. And we would ask those folks who say Bruce, Babs and Sean should shut up, what about Carrie? Is she an earnest young woman using her moment of fame to support a cause she believes in, or should she shut up and wave?
The rest of the Miss California USA stuff, we don't care about, no matter how many times Carrie Prejean shows up on the "Today" show. Maybe she'll set a record for appearances by pretty blondes who aren't missing or dead. We still won't care.
We will give her some credit, though. If we were packed into our gown on stage at a beauty pageant we really, really, pleaseGodohplease wanted to win, and Perez Hilton asked a question that was anywhere near about gay people, we're pretty sure we'd talk about how great gay people were and how they deserved to get married and how our mom and dad were both gay, if you can believe that, it's really a funny story, Perez -- regardless of how big a Bible we liked to thump and how terrible we thought it made gay people out to be in God's eyes and all. We're like that. So, yeah, Miss California USA has a bigger pair than we do. We'll admit it.
But we guess there is one thing we care about now. As Carrie becomes the banner carrier for the don't-let-them-gays-marry crowd, we await the reaction. Because we've often heard that singers, actors and athletes who espouse causes should shut up and act/sing/play because they aren't qualified to talke about it and nobody cares what they thing. In just about all these cases, the causes are liberal and the "shut up" crowd is conservative.
Now we have a beauty queen -- not even an accomplished actor or musician, but a pretty girl who didn't win the big pageant -- weighing in on an issue. And we would ask those folks who say Bruce, Babs and Sean should shut up, what about Carrie? Is she an earnest young woman using her moment of fame to support a cause she believes in, or should she shut up and wave?
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